Teacher's day note -- Dil se

I don't know if I ever realized the efforts you all had put in till the time I myself got into the same line. It is just how parents take all the blame of being the villains of our lives to tell us the basics. Hopes were always there in our dreams but raising the level is what you did. It was the responsibility which you accepted so lovingly and effortlessly that we started believing it to be a piece of cake...until I myself wore those shoes. I don't know how I performed in my role of being that teacher...but today I want to tell you that you are the reason of what I am today. And I can only think of repaying that in some manner..I know I can never reach that level. I wish I can make you feel proud some day and I could see that shine in your eyes like I have always when you praised me. I can't think of any other way to pay my regards and I wish I could reach all of you today in some manner. Happy Teacher's Day  

गुदगुदाना

धुँधली परछाईयों के बीच कहीं 

पलकों में कैद नमी में कभी 

यादों की पनघट पे हौले से 

सपनों की हलचल में छुपते हुए 

आना और बस बिचड़ जाना 

किस्मत का यूं पलट जाना 

कसमों का यूं टूट जाना 

लम्हों का ऐसे बिखर जाना 

यादो की गलियों में ये दस्तक 

गुदगुदा देता है कभी ... कभी छलका देता है 

भुला देता है कभी.… कभी सजा देता है 

जिंदा हूँ और याद बाकी है

झरोंके आज भी उन गलियों को ताकते हैं,
आँखें आज भी नम हो जातीँ हैं
लव्ज़ों को रोकना फिर भी आसान है
ख्वाहिशें आज भी बेपर्दा हो जाती हैं

दिल का हसना और रोना इक जुनूं का हिस्सा सा है
कभी ज़िद थी ये धडकनों की
राहों के पथरीले फूलों ने जब टोका
बैरी हो गए वो इस मन के

आज भी ये गिला नहीं की इश्क था
आज भी ये सुकून है की जूनून था
आज भी खुद पे गर्व है के
हम सही थे जब जमाने को गुरुर था  

दर्द है अगर तो इस बात का
की सच को बचाने में सच ही छिप गया
सच्चाई न छोडने की कसम में
अपनों ने ही झूठा करार दे दिया

ये आँखों की नमी कीमती है
धुल में मिलना इसका नसीब न बनने दे
दर्द ने भी कुछ तो सिखाया है
इस पल के अँधेरे में उसको न गुम होने दे

किताब के पन्ने

मन भी अनोखे रिश्ते ढूंढता है 

किताबो के पन्नो में कुछ पलों को रोक कर 

दिल की गहराईयों में डूब कर खुद को टटोलता है 

और फिर उन्ही रिश्तों में उलझी ख़ुशी को संजोता हैI

ज़िन्दगी का एक और पन्ना पलटा 

कुछ लम्हों में एक नया अध्याय शुरू हो जाएगा 

पन्ने कभी चिपक भी जाया करते है 

कभी कभी उनमे अक्षर दुसरे पन्ने में उलट जाते हैI 

मन चाह कर भी उन पन्नो को खोल नहीं पाता 

उन उलटे अक्षरों को ज़िन्दगी की धारा में मोड़ नहीं पाता

दिल बेखबर उन पिछले पन्नो को बुकमार्क लगा जाता है

बार बार उन्ही लम्हों में खुद को कैद पाता हैI

मन और दिल की इस झड़प में वजूद हिल जाता है 

करवटों की आहटों से भी, बस अचानक जाग जाता है
सपने तो कई बार कभी अधूरे रह सकते है पर 

कुछ सपनो को वो काफी ईचे छोड़ आता है!

एक सवाल मेरे मन में छोड़ आया ये सपना 

ना जानू दिल ने देखा था इसे या था बस एक झरोखा 

ये भी नहीं पता के हार किसने मानी फिर 

दिल और मन की उलझन में किसे सम्भालूँ ...दिल है अपना या मन है अपना!

Sketches of life...

In Life, there are many chances when life wants you to erase the mistakes you once sketched in your drawing books. The problem knocks the door when the eraser (efforts made) is of bad quality or the sketch was too dark...leaving impressions deep enough to remind us of the past.

There are colleagues & teachers who try to teach us the correct way taking our hands in theirs and sketching along with us. Few of us learn from this and few gets frustrated on this, with the feeling that we can master ourselves. Why do we need somebody to check every action of ours! Little do we give importance to the ones who din't even utter a word when we used their drawing boards to sketch our stories.

(Guess we would have related more with the farm spaces of farmville!)

But once, these sketches are made permanent, there's no looking back. Once it has been signed by the artist and displayed, the world comes to know of it. And at that point of time, nobody gives credit to those who played their roles in the making...those colleagues, friends, teachers...

It is just the artist who receives all the credit. Others just feel happy & contended watching this artist grow up...

All I pray and wish is that I remain connected to all those who are part of my sketching experiences...today, tomorrow and in future..when I become an artist myself...and I continue respecting them the same way I have till now.

Last semester....

The last semester...the last word brings in a lot of thoughts and emotions into any kind of work. And considering it was two years of high intensity moments, favours and togetherness, it certainly means something for even a person who calls himself the most neutral on emotions. So for me! It was a lot. This was the period where we had some wonderful moments and few very weak moments. Ranging from mere introduction..what they call as ice breaking to confrontations, team activities of normal classes..late night studies (which always turned into full on masti), organizing events, getting into problems, being a support to something...needing support from others, favouring one person to opposing all others. Woah! It had it all.
All the memories come so fresh when you sit and think of it! It seems like just 2 days back when I was in front of the whole class where other batchmates were writing what they feel about me. I know how I tried to defend to myself that this might have been because of various other uncontrollable reasons. Those trips where we further bonded... All the tortures, the unending photo sessions (apparent from 5 GB of pictures I have) they all will be a part of our memories forever. That Free Rider community and fierce discussion, Skimpy clothing as called by one for our performers in a function and then apologies which followed, trying to be in the other bus passing time in one class or the other, always capturing the last few rows of the class, getting spotted by the faculties for good or bad reasons, unending laughter sessions and emotional blackmails, these are few things which are still afresh. There have been bad times as well. I remember my last birthday when for the first time in my life I felt why did I ever wait for my birthday to come!! That was time which brought big transformations in my life.
And talk of this...the last semester again. Things have changed, people are the same. Few happy faces and few very happy faces; New couples, new friends, few promises, few ditches... that’s how you define them. Isn’t that the cycle of life? Or life rolling back to complete the cycle!

What do we want from ourselves?

There is this one moment in life when you feel that everything has gone past you. All the material connections, all the human connections...everything. That’s just one moment when you think yourself beyond these things. That is just one moment you think of yourself. That is just one moment when you want to know what have you been all these years. When you want to see how much of value have you earned in the eyes of the very you. Just be answerable for that one little moment and you would be beyond the expectations of all those human and material connections you have at this present moment.